Is Crying Good?

How does it feel when someone cries in front of you? What is your first reaction? Do you try to calm them down, or give them a hug, or tissue, or water or just wait for them to be conscious about their situation? 

It was a different experience. Crying is a way of expressing our emotions. I have read somewhere that if someone bursts out crying in front of you, either they have a good bond with you, or they find you safe and trustworthy. But let me first state what makes someone cry and then explain what kind of crying situation I have experienced.

Crying varies from situation to situation. One cries,

1. When he/she is happy or satisfied,

2. When he/she is punished, abused, or harassed,

3. When they are unable to express what they are going through or had gone through and

4. When they are in a difficult situation where they find no hope.

I have experienced the 3rd type of crying. The person in front of me was unable to express what she was going through. She was unable to put into words what was going on in her head. And after a while, she burst out crying. I was numb. I didn't know how to react. It was for the first time I ever experienced any such thing personally. I remained silent and waited for her to be conscious of the situation. And in a while, she came back to the present. I gave her a tissue and a glass of water. And then she was fine, conscious and fresh i.e. relieved. I have heard many times that crying reduces the amount of stress and tension we are into. And that day I witnessed it and believed that yes crying can also act as a healing mechanism.

If we see crying in therapy or in counseling terms, it often heals the clients internally and makes them stronger. Also, it can be seen as a sign of relief, letting go of any kind of pain or memories or reducing the pain. Researchers have established that "crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain. Popular culture, for its part, has always known the value of a good cry as a way to feel better — and maybe even to experience physical pleasure."(Newhouse, 2021)

So, is crying good? Do we need to cry?

Yes, it's good and we need to cry but it doesn't mean we should cry forcefully just for the sake of the good & crying. What is meant is we should let the tears flow if they are falling without controlling them.

Crying is seen as a sign of weakness but in reality, it is a sign of strength and better feeling. We might have heard the common response to crying is to make crying stop. "Unknowingly, when someone responds to tears with “Ssssh don’t cry” they’re actually saying, “Stop expressing your emotion through crying, it’s making me uncomfortable,” which really says “Your emotions make people uncomfortable,” which eventually translates to, “feelings are bad”. It’s a tough situation trying to feel! Coincidentally, it is not the comfort, tears, or sympathy of another person which alleviates the emotion behind crying. High percentages of people feel a sense of relief after crying."(Hansen, 2019)

If someone is crying, let them express themselves. If you feel like crying, express yourself, don't control the emotions within, just vent it out. You will feel relief and better and stronger.