Beyond the Surface

Life can often become a challenging journey, and at times, it might feel like an overwhelming, lonely path. For many people, navigating the complex emotional landscape of feeling empty even in the midst of loved ones is a challenge. When social interactions start to emotionally exhaust you and everything seems like an overwhelming effort it might be indicative of a deeper struggle.

Imagine being surrounded by people you love, engaged in conversation, yet feeling an unsettling emptiness within. The exhaustion is not just physical; it is into the very fabric of your emotions. Even the simplest joys, like enjoying your favorite meal or sharing moments with friends, lose their meaning. The desire to do nothing, to just exist in a void, becomes overwhelming.

But what is happening in these moments of emotional turbulence? Should one see a doctor? Is it stress, depression, or perhaps just loneliness?

In today's world, the term "depressed" is tossed around casually, almost as if it has become a part of everyday conversation. However, the reality of depression goes far beyond mere vocabulary. It is a complex mental health disorder characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a profound lack of interest or pleasure in the routine activities that once brought joy.

Depression isn't just about knowing nothing about what's going on or lacking excitement, although these experiences can be symptomatic. It's about the relentless weight of sadness that colors every aspect of life. It's the struggle to find pleasure in the things that used to bring happiness. It's a mental and emotional exhaustion that goes beyond the ordinary mood swings.

Recognizing depression involves acknowledging these subtle but profound shifts in one's mental and emotional landscape. It's about understanding that the inability to enjoy life's gifts and the persistent feeling of emptiness are not just passing phases but signs of a deeper struggle.

So, what should one do when faced with these overwhelming emotions? Seeking help is the crucial first step. Consulting with a healthcare professional, such as a counselor or therapist, can provide the support needed to navigate through these challenges.

Depression is a treatable condition, and various therapeutic approaches, including psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of both, are available. It's essential to emphasize that reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness but a courageous act towards reclaiming one's mental well-being.

Let's go beyond the slang definition of depression and reframe our understanding of it. We can create an environment where people who are battling with depression feel heard, understood, and encouraged to get the assistance they need by encouraging empathy, support, and open communication.

Is Crying Good?

How does it feel when someone cries in front of you? What is your first reaction? Do you try to calm them down, or give them a hug, or tissue, or water or just wait for them to be conscious about their situation? 

It was a different experience. Crying is a way of expressing our emotions. I have read somewhere that if someone bursts out crying in front of you, either they have a good bond with you, or they find you safe and trustworthy. But let me first state what makes someone cry and then explain what kind of crying situation I have experienced.

Crying varies from situation to situation. One cries,

1. When he/she is happy or satisfied,

2. When he/she is punished, abused, or harassed,

3. When they are unable to express what they are going through or had gone through and

4. When they are in a difficult situation where they find no hope.

I have experienced the 3rd type of crying. The person in front of me was unable to express what she was going through. She was unable to put into words what was going on in her head. And after a while, she burst out crying. I was numb. I didn't know how to react. It was for the first time I ever experienced any such thing personally. I remained silent and waited for her to be conscious of the situation. And in a while, she came back to the present. I gave her a tissue and a glass of water. And then she was fine, conscious and fresh i.e. relieved. I have heard many times that crying reduces the amount of stress and tension we are into. And that day I witnessed it and believed that yes crying can also act as a healing mechanism.

If we see crying in therapy or in counseling terms, it often heals the clients internally and makes them stronger. Also, it can be seen as a sign of relief, letting go of any kind of pain or memories or reducing the pain. Researchers have established that "crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain. Popular culture, for its part, has always known the value of a good cry as a way to feel better — and maybe even to experience physical pleasure."(Newhouse, 2021)

So, is crying good? Do we need to cry?

Yes, it's good and we need to cry but it doesn't mean we should cry forcefully just for the sake of the good & crying. What is meant is we should let the tears flow if they are falling without controlling them.

Crying is seen as a sign of weakness but in reality, it is a sign of strength and better feeling. We might have heard the common response to crying is to make crying stop. "Unknowingly, when someone responds to tears with “Ssssh don’t cry” they’re actually saying, “Stop expressing your emotion through crying, it’s making me uncomfortable,” which really says “Your emotions make people uncomfortable,” which eventually translates to, “feelings are bad”. It’s a tough situation trying to feel! Coincidentally, it is not the comfort, tears, or sympathy of another person which alleviates the emotion behind crying. High percentages of people feel a sense of relief after crying."(Hansen, 2019)

If someone is crying, let them express themselves. If you feel like crying, express yourself, don't control the emotions within, just vent it out. You will feel relief and better and stronger.

Stranger; Lesson or Life?

"Strangers are safe, they are non-judgmental and they care for the present moment", I have heard these statements most of the time and even experienced once. They are safe but not every stranger is safe.!

There are sayings like we should not talk to any stranger in our long journeys, should not eat or drink what they offer and if possible, not to be involved in any activity with them. Does this sound better? Or does this prevent us to trust anyone and gain their trust back? If I am trusting someone, there is a possibility that they will trust me back and if I am doubting someone, they will doubt me back. If my parents are asking me not to do any of the above things, so does other parents as well, isn't it? So directly or indirectly, we are creating a gap, a misconception about the uncertain reality based on our beliefs, which are not fixed by our experiences, but I guess due to manipulations, word of mouths, or social media. Exceptions are always there but sometimes concluding something which is uncertain is not the right thing.!

What happens when we meet strangers?

Who are strangers? Anyone who doesn't have any idea about one's existence, past, present, or future. Strangers are like a newly born baby, who doesn't have any idea about anyone around, but with times they understand and fit in the environment.

First of all, we try not to open ourselves to any strangers and we are so formal like we are in an interview, and all we want is when would this uninterested interview end!! But for some, having a convo with a stranger is fun, they love to explore more and have good-relation. Or some want to go slow, trying to figure out the intentions of the stranger first, and then if they fit into that environment, they are willing to explore more. But if a stranger is a like-minded person like you, then you don't need any second thought whether or not to explore yourself more or to open yourself up. You automatically feel similar vibes and a strong connection that is generating the vibes within you. "Even a stranger whom you meet a second ago can be the most important person of your life and any friend who is together with you can turn to nothing." JUST BECAUSE OF THE VIBES OR THE LIKE-MINDEDNESS. 

Durations don't matter if you are into the negative vibes or unmatching vibes. A relationship of years can come to an end just because of unmatching vibes, but a relationship of days can become a beautiful relationship just because of the like-mindedness and matching vibes. 

Are strangers safe?

Safeness depends on our definition of safety. What is safety for us? Privacy of information? Harmfulness? Or? If we go by the privacy of information, mostly strangers are safe just because they don't have any idea of one's existence. Plus, strangers don't care what one is doing in their life until and unless it's not harmful to them and others. 

If we go by the harmfulness, it is quite rare that a stranger turns out to be harmful, until and unless they have any rage for you. Sometimes a stranger is much more helpful than any other person whom we know for years. 

But I don't mean to say we all should go and start sharing things with strangers or every stranger is safe because it all depends on one's beliefs and their vibes. If you find a matching vibe, the person can be trustworthy, but as always there are exceptions.

A Gentle Reminder.!!

Nothing comes free of cost, even for winning a lottery of Rs. 10,000 we have to purchase a ticket worth Rs. 10 and so forth. So, the Covid-19 not only comes with a pandemic but a lot of other factors as well such as remote work from home, online classes, online sessions, and many more. The year 2020 has really been a tough year but it is even tougher when you start losing relationships with friends, relatives or when you fail to convey the reason behind your unavailability to someone just because they judge you rather than understanding you.

The year 2020 has really bought up a lot of challenges and we are lucky enough to be able to cope and adjust to these challenges. We are adjusting to this new normal and living a healthy and fearful life at the same time. The Covid-19 is still a threat and we are learning to live with it by taking precautions and safety measures and it's necessary because we don't want to take the blame for someone else's unhealthy health. And for those who wear their masks at their chin or at their wrists or keep it in their pocket, do you really want to protect your chin or wrists or your pocket🤔? I mean seriously? This time is not an individual game to play and win. There is a famous quote by Cory Booker, "If you want to go fast, go alone; but if you want to go far, go together." So, let's do our parts and help everyone go far.

 

Everything has changed to virtual means. Working remotely, online classes, online shopping, virtual meetings and so forth. But we are not willingly going virtual in every sector, this is something every one of us should understand. It's not that we don't want to meet in person, attend offices or classes or do shopping or attend sessions physically, but sometimes our destiny or the universe has some other better plans for us. So, let's value the plans of the universe and the destiny and do our parts and help everyone go far. 

One of the other factors that the Covid-19 has brought up is a conflict in many relationships be that of friends, relatives or partners. They are having conflicts because they are not openly and freely (without any fear) meeting or welcoming. It's better not to have any conflicts because every time we don't get what we want and it's not bad all the time. We might be apart from each other for months or a year now, but the level of excitement of being together is high every day. Believe in the relationship you have or the relation you created. Everything happens for something good. Believe in the process.

Apart from this, I don't mean to lock ourselves at home, but to understand that the Covid-19 is still a threat. We are not free from this pandemic but we are just learning to adjust to live with this pandemic.

 

Stay connected. 

Stay blessed😇🙏. 

 

Sometimes Survival Is Enough | Happy Celebrations.!!

So far 2020 has been stressful & a year full of surprises & unexpected events. The world is trying to adjust in this new normal where mask has become something like a necessity of life. Many have lost their lives in this war with COVID-19, many are still fighting for their lives & others who are not infected are trying to be normal, some by following the precautions & remaining ones by not giving a damn. Everyone has a freedom of choice but the situation right now is not an individual game to play and win, instead it is a team game i.e. each one of us is responsible for winning this fight with COVID-19 and similarly losing with it. So, let's fight this together, let's follow the guidance and let's be a part of serving humanity.  

 

Though the threat of the pandemic & stressful environment is still on there are small rays of joyous moments flowing in the air. The festive environment is knocking at our doors. Vijayadashami also known as Dussehra or Dashain a major Hindu festival has begun. Today is the first day of Vijayadashami i.e. Ghatasthapana. So, I would like to wish each one of you & your family a very Happy Vijayadashami. May God bless you with good health and happiness.

Moving forward, there are still many people who are away from home in this auspicious occasion. There are people who are serving the infected patients. And from the beginning of 2020 it is clear that this year is an unexpected year where we are moving to a new normal of living lives. We are working from homes, taking classes from home and doing a lot just by staying at home. And most importantly we are safe, alive & at home in this auspicious occasion. SO, SHOULDN'T WE BE GRATFUL FOR BEING SAFE, ALIVE & BEING AT HOME?

 

 

Khuda Haafiz dua o mein yaad rakhna

"Khuda Haafiz dua o mein yaad rakhna", you must have heard this phrase many times in the past and many of you might have used it. I came through this phrase just an hour ago when I was watching a new movie directed by Faruk Kabir and produced by Kumar Mangat Pathak and Abhishek Pathak under Panorama Studios "Khuda Haafiz". You can find Vidyut Jammwal and Shivaleeka Oberoi as a leading actor and actress. Firstly, I would like to congratulate the whole team for delivering such a great movie which teaches us a few valuable lessons, although it's all scripted² but also we can always learn something from everything around. I hope this blog might help you to learn a few things as well. Happy Reading.

We live in a society where a victim¹ is treated more badly than the culprit. An acid victim is not given proper respect and opportunity in comparison with normal person. A Coivd-19 patient who fought with this virus when he goes home is seen as an evil-doer by the people around. A rape victim has to face a lot of difficulty just because she was raped and her virginity is lost. And this list goes on. We keep spreading tweets, posts but at the end of the day we are a part of this same society. We actually don't follow any of the things we share or spread, even I sometimes have not followed the things I share. So let us not be like the politicians for whom "Promises are made to be broken", the phrase is best suited. 

Khuda Haafiz is an action thriller film where one of the world's top martial artists has played a really great role. We have always seen Vidyut as an action hero but in this movie he unleashes fury and layers it with emotions and he nailed it. The movie shows how one has to move to the gulf countries for a job during the financial crises and how we can be misguided by the agents and the brokers. Although it's all scripted but we can see even in our country many youths were misguided and manipulated by some agents and brokers that have ruined many lives of youths and are stocked in some gulf countries forcefully because they don't have any other option. And when we hear such stories we feel bad about them and their family. So what if we don't let that happen in the first place? Yes it's not that easy to find a job despite being capable in most of the cases but it’s not impossible right? There are good people who value your talent more than your relationship with any high profile person. I just want to ask a question to everyone who is in their present position or designation just because of their relation with any high profile person, do you feel proud? Yes you might be proud for being in that position but do you really from within feel proud? I don't think you do because you are not in general capable of that position. And again it's all your choice. EVERYONE IS FREE TO MAKE CHOICES. But be kind and humble and respectful because what goes around comes around. 

Also if going abroad is the only option make sure you go through an authorized agent and study & cross-check each and every detail that is being provided.

Now coming back to the movie although it's all scripted but despite of being a victim of forced prostitution trafficking the love and respect for a girl was not even decreased a bit that shows when we love and care a soul rather than the physical appearance then nothing can stop us from accepting someone who might be the victim of the worst thing ever. It's about soul to soul connection rather than the outer beauty. As I above mention we live in a society where a victim is treated more badly than the culprit, this is true and the main reason behind this is because we are attached and attracted towards outer beauty or  outer appearance and the inner connection is missing. 

• Why is a victim of acid attack having fewer opportunities?
• Why a victim of rape is treated unmannerly?
• Why do we judge someone on our outer self?

Because:-

• We don't realize the inner soul of that person.
• We forget that we are also a soul not the body.
• We judge the outer self and ignore the real talent we want a good looking person on our office desk.
• And because we have lost the connection between the inner self or inner soul.

Hope you liked things I quoted above. Hope we will try to figure out the connection between inner souls and will not judge someone just because of their outer self. Thank you. Stay Safe.

NOTE¹: Although I have written a victim everywhere above but what I think is we should denote and respect them by calling as a real survivor. They are not the victims, they are the real survivor, real hero.

NOTE²: I have quoted although it's all scripted many times above because everything is scripted in this world. Our birth was scripted, failure, success, death everything is scripted and we go and learn from it. So every movie can be a good lesson if we focus more on the positive side.

When Together, What Matters?

I had a conversation with one of my friends after a long time. Ya literally a long time. After 12th I guess today we genuinely talked (like not just replying in stories or leaving a happy birthday wish and many more wishes like that). So it's been 4/5 years since we hadn't talked. I will not be sharing my experience how I feel but I am going to share a few important things I noticed in his talks and also will share what made me write about those things and why I am sharing this all with you.

Firstly, I should feel lucky that he shared his relationship issue with me and that's how we talked today ha-ha might be funny but it's like a friend in need is a friend indeed I guess. So when I say about relationship issues many of you can relate this and can make a good impact on your relationship after giving it a read. You might be aware of a few things or almost everything that I am going to write about, but why I want each one of you to read this completely is because sometimes we just need to hear or read someone else's words or stories to apply things we already knew. Happy Reading.

"INSPIRED BY HIS STORY TO ASPIRE OTHERS."

Things that he mentioned and I find them important are as follows:-

• Expectations in a Relationship: - The best part of our conversation was discussing this part. He was like we are not all Buddha to not expect anything from our loved ones or nor I will go and sit under a tree neither will be enlightened 😂 as I have to do many things right now. He expected something from his partner and that's common in a relationship. Everyone expects to be loved, cared the same way he/she is giving it and it's okay. Though I keep saying we should not expect anything as it will only hurt you but keeping expectations is a nature in this material world. It's hard not to expect anything in return from our loved ones in this material world as expecting more than enough will end-up hurting you, but it's possible to have no expectation as well. Though it's a hard core process, you need a lot of patience, self-control, emotional control and self-realization but it's possible. So still I say if possible don't expect anything, just keep doing your part, if you are in a relationship keep doing the part of a partner, if you are in a company keep doing the part of an employee and much more but it's a hard-core process. And it's all up to you. That was just a suggestion.

 

• 
  Priority: - It's not about how busy you are, it's all about what and whom you prioritize. In a relationship priorities play an important role for a succession and a failure. Even in this time when everything is almost closed if your partner tries to prioritize something even more than you and keep ignoring you for weeks (read this again, just don't judge me by reading the first sentence), then it definitely hurts you right? Ya it's their choice to prioritize whatever they want but treating their partner like a pendulum & not making things clear is not good I guess. If you prioritize your partner then even in the busiest schedule you can leave them a text or a call but again priority matters. What I want to suggest in this part is even if you prioritize something more than your partner, that's totally okay but at least you should let your partner know about the priority you are focusing on and make things clear. CLARITY & UNDERSTANDING IS A FOUNDATION OF A RELATIONSHIP.

• Keeping Self-Respect & Ego Aside: - In most of the cases one of the partners has to go through a war between their mind & heart i.e. mind says if someone ignores you continuously, then don't disturb them by texting or making calls because your self-respect also has some-respect and their heart says hmm you can give one more try and keep your self-respect & ego aside. And as always their heart wins and they let their self-respect aside even more than what their partner deserves. And this is the story of many relationships. In this part I want to say truth is bitter, it's hard to accept the truth but it's better to accept it as soon as possible and try to move on(ya I know it's easy to say but do you have any other options? NO?, SO KEEP MOVING ON). Accept the facts and keep moving.

So these were a few things we discussed for an hour. And he knows every what to do and what not to do things that I wrote here but as I mentioned at the beginning of the blog that sometimes we just need to hear from someone to feel better and to apply these things. Now I wish everything is fine with him and his relationship issue is solved. I want to add a few more things before I end-up this.

• Value the word RELATIONSHIP.
• Acting childish is cute in a relationship but you should understand when to act maturely.
• Don't be in a relationship to overcome your past or to overcome your loneliness.
• It's hard to have a strong relationship with a weak foundation.
• Don't judge your partner at a glance.
• Long-distance relationships are not an easy thing. It requires a lot of patience, trust and understanding. So just don't take any decision without understanding the situation. 
• Single misunderstanding can make a relationship hell out of heaven. And everyone prefers HEAVEN I GUESS.

 

Never make a decision in anger, and never make a promise in happiness.!!